Cleansing tears.

So, back in January my Great Grandma passed away at 102 years old (actually a month away from her 103rd birthday). I found out, ironically enough, on our way to visit her. I cried a few tears when I innicially heard the news, but didn't shed a single tear during her veiwing or funeral. I was touched by those who spoke and knew I would miss her increadibly, but I just didn't feel the need to cry. Yet. Last night I sent my wonderful husband to the store to get some diapers and treats for Hyrum to take to class today. He also came home with a bag of Salt Water Taffy as a treat for us to eat. This is not normally something I buy since I am automatically drawn to anything with chocolate in it rather than, well, not. I was really excited though and turned on the season finale of Dancing With the Stars and dug in to the bag. Not moments later I was pausing the show as a wave of nostalgia hit me and the tears came unbidden pouring down my cheeks. You see, my Great Grandma always (and I mean always) had certain treats at her house for when kids (and, the not so little kids) would come visit. She had homemade fudge (my very favorite), salt water taffy, and hard candy (butterscotch and cinnamon), plus usually some kind of cookie.

So, I think the large majority of times I have eaten taffy before last night was sitting on my Grandma's couch while listening to her tell stories of times gone by and how she used to do things. I missed her more than I could put into words. I missed sitting on her lap and having her rub her calloused hand on my back under my shirt as a child. I missed her hugs and kisses and her telling me "I love you a bushel and a peck" and "Kid, you don't know what love is until you are as old as me". I missed her smell and her house and playing in her front yard. I missed sleeping on her floor on foam egg carton mattresses. I missed her asking if I wanted to borrow a nighty and getting to take a turn sleeping with her in her unusually high bed. I missed her standing in the driveway waving and blowing kisses as we pulled away. I just missed her.

I was talking to my Aunt about it a little bit and she said she thought that Grandma was holding little Graham's spirit in heaven right now (she used to absolutely love to hold the babies) and enjoying him before he came down to us. So, Graham, enjoy Grandma as much as you can for me before you come to join our family. And bring some of her love with you when you come.